You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one
that is not a talkie. You have already talked
about your hobbies, your families and your jobs
and nothing else come into your mind and she is
not really helping you (that’s what you believe).
One of the best ways of having a good, healthy
and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to
start with small talk. The small talk will give
you a general picture about her likes and
dislikes, as well as what she would like to
discuss and what she would rather leave alone.
Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and
But what is really freaking you are those moment
of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key
to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:
1. Compliment her
The fact is most people are shy about meeting new
people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you
think about it, shyness is merely a fear that
others won't like you, or that you may be
rejected in some way. It's natural for us to
desire acceptance. So try to make her know that
you like her by making a compliment. But find
something that you really find attractive about
her, about her lifestyle or her personality. She
will become more confident and more open to share
her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem
for a fluid conversation.
2. Asking open questions
How you ask questions is very important in
establishing a basis for an effective
communication. Effective questions open the door
to knowledge and understanding. The art of
questioning lies in knowing which questions to
My favorites questions are "why" and "how"
questions. You can use these frequently without
being annoying. She will feel that you are
interested in what she is telling you and will
develop her answers.
Therefore, you should think carefully before
speaking and taking up subjects that might be
repugnant to her.
3. Listen, listen, and listen.
Usually when the woman starts talking about her
favorite subjects (feelings, family,
relationships, friends and her work) many men
lose interest or bring the conversation back to
themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake
men are doing all the time.
They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes
and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up
and boasting. Stop doing that!!!
Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you
have yours. Men have felt like they have either
had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try
to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women
about what they believe in. Both approaches lead
She is not there with you just to hear about your
hero "qualities", but to have a great time!